What’s your most memorable birthday experience? Mine was the time I wiped out on my mini-bike running into the woodpile. I wasn’t hurt, but decided to attract attention from the party goers by pretending I was knocked unconscious. The secret is to just lay still for just a little longer than people are comfortable with. Considering the kind of child I was, I turned out all right. Right mom? Mom?

Birthdays are special for some people. On Monday, we learned that one of the girls from the orphanage would have a milestone birthday the next day. Sveta would be turning 13. Since we would be back on Tuesday for English Club, Katya thought it’d be nice to get her a little cake for the occasion. However she couldn’t make it that day, so it was just us Americans.

That following day, we tracked down Sveta* before we left the orphanage. The girls gave her the cake and sang the Happy Birthday song to her. I watched amused as they attempted the song in Russian. We all laughed when they messed up the grammar. Then standing there singing began to grow awkward, because of Sveta’s response.

Sveta didn’t smile or laugh. She didn’t say “Thank you,” or go all bashful on us. She didn’t hug the girls or try to hide out of embarrassment. She just stared back at the girls waiting for them to finish. What? Was she ungrateful? I could see no emotions in her eyes, just staring and waiting.

I think I have a pretty good idea why she didn’t respond. Sveta never had anything special done for her birthday before. Rosen, who was adopted at age 12, said that his orphanage barely acknowledged a birthday, if at all. He never had a party until adopted, in America, and his parents had to explain what a birthday party was.

I gather Sveta didn’t know how to respond to the birthday song. She had no birthday experience. She’d never been to one or seen any. Nobody celebrates her birthday. Why would they? There are forty kids there. Perhaps the whole thing was a puzzle to her.
What’s the big deal about birthdays? I guess I never thought about it before. By celebrating, you’re recognizing a child as being important to you. “We celebrate today with you because you mean a lot to us.” They might not believe it at first. But if we keep saying it, and demonstrate it, it might just stick.

I think kids lack a sense of individuality in the orphanage. Everything you do is in a group. It’s interesting, because you don’t have your own toys. You don’t have your own clothes. Everything belongs to everybody. And being treated special just one day a year could really be healthy for a kid.

It wouldn’t be that difficult for an orphanage to make a little hype about a kid’s birthday. I realize that they don’t have budgets for big parties. But singing “Happy Birthday” doesn’t cost anything.

I know the God who says we’re “fearfully and wonderfully made,” celebrates the birth of every child. Even the ones with questionable pasts. Even the ones with questionable futures. And hopefully, Sveta understood a little bit more that she’s worth celebrating.

*I changed her name, because I don’t know if she’d like being identified. 13 is a funny age.

¶ 3:18 PM

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