“I will not smile… I will not be friendly… I will not smile…” I muttered to myself as I left the apartment building. Smiling is a problem for me. In America, I smile at every single person in the grocery store when they walk by, sometimes I even greet them aloud. Here, this is culturally unacceptable. If you smile at a stranger, you’re up to something. And definitely do not smile at a woman you don’t know.
So on this particular day I began the quick walk to my team meeting. Despite my anti-pep talk, the very first person I passed, I smiled and nodded my head at them. Friends, supporters, prayer warriors… I can't "not smile." I’ve tried. I still say “thank you” when I pay for my groceries, and “excuse me” when I bump into people. I’m a terrible missionary, culturally insensitive and out of touch. I even sing out loud when I’m just walking around
It’s not just the smiling. I’m also physically affectionate, even for an American (whatever that means). I touch people, not all people, but the people I’m comfortable with. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the more comfortable I am with someone, the more I hug on them, squeeze their arms, and pinch them. And most of the time, I get comfortable with people faster than they do with me. Bad Markus.
I've struggled with these cultural boo-boos on and off for a while. Still do sometimes, I’m really not intent on horrifying grown men and making women think I’m flirting just by having my face turned in the wrong direction. I’m really just living my life.
Pastor Sunday two weeks ago said that Ukrainian men are taught at a very young age to not show emotions. Don’t laugh, don’t cry. Emotions are a sign of weakness. So here I walk into the orphanage and laugh and sing songs. I tickle kids and get tackled by kids. I nod and smile at every employee in that place. No wonder they think I’m a lunatic.
Well, I don’t know. The Bible says that Jesus wept.1 It says that the Lord in heaven laughs.2 And what about this verse…

“The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will
rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will
rejoice over you with singing." 3

This is our God. Is that not the best verse for how to spend the day ministering to abandoned babies? Go ahead, read it again. So I feel like I have some pretty solid role models when it comes to being openly affectionate or just plain happy.
By the way, lest you think that Ukraine is full of meanies, this coldness disappears as your friendships start developing. And if you do need directions, people (even strangers) will often go the extra mile and walk you to where you're trying to get to. And I haven't been to an unfriendly church yet. There they do smile and shake your hands and are glad to see you. They even tell you to hug each other at my church.
I cannot help but suspect that part of the “distance” among people is the result of communism. Communism taught people to distrust one another. You didn’t know who your real friends were under that sort of regime. If this theory is true, than the coldness in the culture is in fact artificial snow. It’s not really supposed to be there, and with the power of the Holy Spirit, can be removed quite nicely. Kids and youth seem to be less inhibited than the older folks.
And so I’ll try to behave a little, but I can’t disregard the personality that God gave me. Meanwhile, I’ll just keep smiling.

1) John 11:35
2) Psalm 37:13
3) Zephaniah 3:17

¶ 3:32 AM

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